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Word vomit. So sorry in advance.

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Moments of life that bring along complete frustration.

Their not my favorite but seem to be lingering around me lately. I have been high fiving, fist pumping and waving helllllo to these spurts more than I please to admit. I don't seem to understand why sometimes they become my company. Why they feel the need to nag me and mix up all life has been blessing me with. But that's life. Along with those blissful phases of marriage, love, relationships, work, exploring, traveling, adventuring, DOING..... comes irritation.

Frustration.

Insecurities.

Discontentment.

I seem to jump on the band wagon of "OMG let's get healthy and be organic and super skinny in two days, okay?!"

Umm, that doesn't work. After my significant weight loss (what I deem significant) I've been loyal to the gym, eating healthier and all around making better decisions about activities and lifestyle. I'd say Casa Kinch has evolved from that stand point. We have our moments of ice cream runs, whip cream topped strawberries and my infamous creamer overload in my morning coffees but altogether, we aren't eating out the majority of the time and when we're at dining in, I use healthy alternatives.

So when I stand in my closet every morning, frustrated by my body and how those jeans just don't fit right or how that top is slighty too uncomfortable.. why can't I be positive about my journey to where I am now? Why do the demons start nagging and eating away at my weak moments. The demons camp out in my mind for days and I can't kick them out. Seriously.

What makes us woman so insecure about how we look? What makes me so unsure of myself? Why do I dwell on those weak moments and let them fuel my mood and insecurities.

What the hell is it??

I tend to stop and think about when I'll be pregnant and how I'll be dressing to accommodate then. I have forced myself to promise every person I know who will actually hold me accountable-- that I spend time on myself, getting dolled up and enjoying those moments of having a pregnancy glow, all while looking DAMN cute. So if I can be so confident about embracing those extra pounds before they even happen, why can't I embrace myself now?

At what point will I be happy and look at myself saying, "yeah, I like what I see."? You may not know, and I sure as hell don't but maybe, just maybe that's all apart of this crazy journey. Maybe this little bump in my road is teaching me to embrace being a woman. Embrace the body I have and embrace that my husband LOVES it.

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