When I married Andrew, Drake was 4 years old. We didn't have him consistently because of Andrew's work schedule never permitting that time so we had him every other weekend. In May of 2012 we made the switch to having little man one week on and one week off and were elated about that change. It never was an issue with his mom because we all get along really well and her and I have always been super open about how she's mommy and I'm Aubrey, his stepmom. I didn't ever want to step on her toes and make her feel inferior and I didn't ever want Drake to think I was trying to take her place.
Yesterday, we were in the car talking about ordering Christmas stockings and I told him how I was going to get them embroidered with Andrew, Aubrey, Drake and Emery... he then said "you should do them as Daddy, Mommy, Drake and Emery" and it totally took me off guard. He then proceeds to tell me he's just going to start calling me mommy because he doesn't want Emery to get confused as she grows up and I'm basically his mommy too. It melted and shocked my heart all at the same time. Of course, I love his love and acceptance of me in his life but even more so now being a mommy, I would never want him to say this because it would hurt his mom so badly.
We're in a tough spot right now. He's still young and doesn't quite understand what this stepmom/stepdad thing means and over the years we've always said it's more love for him and he gets two extra families. This has totally appeased him but now he's coming into the age where he's asking more and more questions to us and his mom. I've continued telling him calling me Aubrey is what's best and maybe in a couple more years, his dad, mom and I can sit with him and explain in depth and answer his questions but right now I just have to pray that I'm making a strong impact in his life.. Thankfully, I'm reassured I am when he tells me he loves me every day, kisses me every night before bed and comes to me with his struggles to wash away his worries. I couldn't love him more and there's zero difference between him and Emery deep in my heart.