PHOTO BY // ELLIE COBURN
I've said it before when I was pregnant, I had in my mind how things would go with work and balancing life. All too naive of me to assume I'd be supermom/business woman because it's been tough, you guys. I am a type A, OCD planner and like to know how my days will go and I like to be in control. Throughout my pregnancy, I was really challenged to let go and that all started right off the bat when we were struggling getting pregnant. I finally had a moment of letting God take the reigns and quickly found out we were pregnant after that. Same goes for the whole time I was incubating, miss E. Things would come up, I'd stress out and break down and when I finally gave it all to God, things would settle and calm and I'd be at peace. So you'd think I would know how to do that by now but I don't. I'm struggling with work and getting things in place with a 9 year old and a 3 month old. I'm finding it hard to spend time with my husband versus investing in my clients and giving them what they're paying for.
Each Sunday I take some time in my office to prepare for the upcoming week of work and schedules and find that I've been packing it full equivalent to when I didn't have a baby hanging around and even then, I found it hard to accomplish all I wanted to. How in the world do I have the mentality I can tackle it all now with even more chaos in my life? Again, I'm naive. So it hit me.... just this morning. I really need to gain a better perspective of how my days will go. I need to realize and understand we're in training with a baby who doesn't prefer naps and I have a kiddo who has karate 3 times a week and school 40 minutes from our home. I have a full time schedule at work that really only gets part time hours devoted to it so here we are.... learning to scale back. I'm okay with starting to take less clients and embracing devoting my 100% attention to the small handful I do accept. I'm learning to not overbook and to simply enjoy my new baby and sweet 9 year old. I'm sure I'll blink and Emery will be 1, Drake will be driving and I'll be a sobbing mess thinking I spent too much time invested in work and not watching my babies grow.
It's all about perspective, friends.
Am I right?