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A "Perfect" Marriage

August 14, 2014

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I get a lot of emails from people claiming Andrew and I have a perfect marriage and things in our life look so seamless and easy which in turn shocks me a little because I don't believe anyone has a perfect marriage. I do stand firmly thinking marriage is hard work and it's a choice to stay happy in it so when I get these emails, I want to write back only encouraging and sharing points on what makes our marriage a fun and enjoyable one. There are always ups and downs when in a relationship but if each party is constantly working at that friendship, I believe it can be beautiful with many more blissful days than trying ones. Here are a few things Andrew and I do daily to care for each other and to nurture our marriage.

GOD FIRST // First and foremost, God is the center of our marriage. We go to our knees in prayer before anything else when we have trials or triumphs and that will always be the case. We both came into this marriage knowing how important our faith is and fully knowing it would be the foundation to our lifetime together.

UPLIFTING NOTES // We are the cheesy people that leave notes randomly throughout the home for each other to find. Whether it's on the bathroom mirror or in a lunch box, it's a little reminder for each other that we made an effort and are thinking of them while going through our daily life.

ALONE & TOGETHER TIME // We are also those people who truly love spending time together. When we have a spare day, it's normally spent enjoying our time together instead of with friends because it's rare we have those moments with his schedule or with Drake. On the same note, it's important to schedule in alone time or with our separate friends. Whether it's him going out for a beer with his buddies or me having a mani date with a girlfriend, we acknowledge that's key and healthy so we make sure to have those times!

TEXT MESSAGES // Every morning when Andrew gets to work he texts me saying "I love you", just because. It's something I cherish and look forward waking up to because I know he thought of me right before he got into his work mindset. Vice versa, throughout my day, if I see something or think of him, I send him a little text so when he gets a break at work, he has something to enjoy to take his mind off things momentarily.

GIVE & TAKE // This is pretty self explanatory but some people have such a hard time making this happen in relationships. It shouldn't be one sided where one person is always giving, giving, giving. It's a two way street and each party should have the desire to give and receive. Personally, I hate giving massages but Andrew loves them so I try my hardest to do that for him when I know it will lift his spirits. He hates watching KUWTK but I love when we do together so he suffers through it with me. It may not be much but it's thoughtful and impactful too.

TAKE TIME TO TALK // The last thing Andrew wants to do each night after dealing with customers all day is talk. He would be completely content sitting in zombie mode in front of the TV but he knows how much I like to chat about our days and get some verbal time in so that's what we do. Whether I sit in the bathroom when he showers and chat or right before we fall asleep when we're in bed, we take that time to communicate. It may be about little mundane things or serious matters but whatever the case, it's important to have that time. On the same note, if we're having an issue or "discussion" about something we disagree on, we talk about it. The worst thing to do is let it boil up and then explode so before it gets to that point, we talk about it right away and come to a resolution.

INTIMACY // Awkward moment here but sex shouldn't be forced. It should happen naturally and because it's wanted by both parties. Plain and simple. Make time for that if your schedules are busy because it's healthy and needed in a relationship!

I hope this gives you an idea of just a few things Andrew and I do for our marriage. It's totally nothing out of the ordinary but it works for us. We say all the time how blessed we are to have minimal disagreements and simply enjoying life together. How amazing God created marriage for that bond and we are so thankful to have that in each other.
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