Finding My Voice

July 11, 2013

I knew coming into my marriage and accepting a son, I'd have to take on the "stepmom" role and we've had a pretty seamless bond growing. He's trusted and respected me and shown me love beyond words. My heart has grown 100 times learning to love this child. It's been a learning process having Drake for 7 days at a time now every other week. It's been such a blessing to Andrew and myself and for our little family unit and it's something we've been dying for. It's also something that brings trials and bad days because guess what.... he's 7 and testing boundaries at our home and trying to get away with things we know aren't acceptable with his mama.

My first moment of truly punishing him set in this past week. I was in tears after giving him his consequence and it hurt my heart so.freaking.much watching him bawl begging for forgiveness. He looked me in the face, lied and thought I wouldn't catch it and when I did, my heart dropped knowing I'd have to punish him. 

In theory, it's easy to tell yourself you'll be strong and stand your grand when discipling. In my mind I thought it would just be as simple as saying no to TV or denying some time on the iPad but lawwwwd, it was brutal. Never did I think I'd be so emotional and feel so bad for having to give a severe consequence so he could learn his lesson. I've prayed and prayed for wisdom and comfort for finding my voice with him. How I can be a great stepmom and role model while also connecting and becoming close to him. Along with all those duties I realize I have to put on the ugly hat sometimes to show some tough love but I wasn't prepared for how trying it would be on my heart.

jeans | Old Navy
top (option) | Forever 21
sandals (option) | Target
purse (option) | TJ Maxx // Steve Madden
watch | Fossil
sunnies (option) | Old Navy
necklace (option) | Forever 21


  1. aww you're doing a great job mama!! and I love those sandals too! xo

  2. Girl, just think of all the times you got punished for this or that, and how much you still love your parents and how much they still love you. And as much as they dont want to admit it --our parents messed up to and were either too hard or too soft on us and we turned out just fine!

    chin up! Best stepmommy out there!

  3. Can't imagine how hard that would be, but you did the right thing. You are a great mama to him.

    Cute outfit!!

  4. You are so amazing, it takes a special woman to love her stepchild like her own and its evident you do that and you do it well. By disciplining him and teaching him morals and what it means to be a person with character, you are doing him more good than he or you can comprehend right now. You're a great mama.

  5. Your love for him is obvious! You are brave and faithful to be not only willing to take on that responsibility but in seeking to do it well and in a way that honors the Lord. Inspiring.


  6. awww. it'll make him a better person in the end!

  7. Hang in there - if discipline was easy everyone would do it!! He will respect you more in the long run for sticking your ground!

  8. I have the EXACT SAME Old Navy pants and Target sandals on today! Love it!

    When times like these come back, just think to yourself about how your parents punished you growing up, and how it only made you respect and love them more! I'm positive that you're a very fair mom. He knows this and he loves you!

  9. Aw, you're doing awesome! He's lucky to have you!


  10. First, you're so adorable, love the bun and white jeans!

    He is so lucky to have you as a step mom! Someone who cares so deeply and loves him. As hard as it is, you are helping shape him into an honest, loving, and respectful person. You're amazing!

  11. I could imagine how difficult this would be. Children need discipline though so trust your instincts! He'll respect you for it later!

  12. I saw those flats at Target, I might have to get a pair they look so fun!
    Hope you can check my latest post :)

  13. I can't even imagine! That sounds tough!

    Love your outfit!

  14. Love your heart, girl!
    Discipline seems like a hard thing to deal with (I wouldn't know from experience) but I think it really helps mold who people're doing a wonderful job :)

    Love that color top, too!

  15. it is a tough job but no one can tell you that you are doing it wrong! trial and error and you will always do your best - everyone knows that!
    hang in there and know itll all pass no matter the situation. bless your sweet heart dear!

  16. I can so relate. I hate watching my daughter hurt when I give her a consequence for unacceptable behaviour. I often think it would be easier to do nothing, but then the smart parent in me speaks up and reminds me I'm not doing her any favours by not exercising clear boundaries/expectations. In between sobs Saige will say the most heart breaking things that pain me to the core - this child rearing gig isn't for the faint of heart. xo

  17. Your job is to be his parent first. Friends secondly......but you have already heard this :).

    Love ya,
    Your Daddy

  18. I can only imagine how difficult it is to become a parent. Not just a birth parent but a stepparent too - especially a step parent, you have to take into consideration so many feelings, your stepson's your husbands and your stepson's mom too. Difficult to find the balance but I'm glad you're finding your voice, you have your hubby's support and you're taking the time to truly care for someone that might wear the stepson title but truly is your son too! You're doing a great job. oxox