swimmers- Kortni Jeane

Body positivity is a weird thing, right? You're pushed to love yourself and give yourself grace and embrace the "mom bod" and simply be happy in your own skin but it's a damn roller coaster. From times to acknowledging a change needs to happen or from the moment of saying F it, I'm going to love myself and be comfortable with who I am today.

I know I'm not the only one who struggles with insecurities and outside voices telling me I'm not the size I should be and I'm not taking care of myself. I hear it daily because I too have a voice inside my head belittling myself and telling me I need to get my shit together. For myself, my husband, for my kids, for my future. You know the drill. You know the speech yet it never is taken to the step of making it past one, maybe two weeks of making changes.

So where's the fine line? Does one go with the way of society applauding campaigns showing full figured woman as "real" bodies or does one go the opposite extreme of joining CrossFit and become wonder woman. Kidding! I could never do CrossFit. I've been invited for years and I'm like... I'm much more of a basic gym worker outer. That is IF I actually worked out.

Regardless, I'm in this limbo. I want to figure out a better lifestyle that leaves me somewhere in the middle of loving myself but always pushing myself to become a better, stronger person. Physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Maybe I'll find a plan that works for me and I find a year from now I'll look back at these obnoxiously vulnerable pictures and praise myself for making a change for the better and loving myself for doing so.

P.S. I could use a spray tan. LOL!
And I'm hitting publish on this post before I chicken out.