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This is a post I write and I'm not stopping until it's all out.

Mid March Andrew and I sat down and talked about long term family goals and when we'd like to expand. We landed on a couple years from now so we have all our debt paid off and we are financially stable and set up for building our home with kiddos. 

I have been on the pill in the past and I've always had extreme side effects causing me to terminate my use and we've used alternative methods of contraception. That was something Andrew and I were okay with. I'll be honest though, it's not so special in the middle of an intimate moment needing to break it up to make sure we're protected. It was bit of a hassle and it started wearing at my heart. 

I started researching other methods of birth control. I landed on the thought of an IUD and that seemed promising to me. I booked an appointment with my OBGYN for April 4th excited to get the simple procedure done and move on with the comfort of 5 years being protected and we had the option to cut that short if we chose to. Monday April 1, I contacted my OBGYN to confirm my insurance would be covering the cost of the procedure, what I got in response was something I wasn't prepared for.

I have something called Thin Endometrial Lining. To sum that up, it means the lining of my uterus is thin and can't sustain an IUD and possibly a full term pregnancy. To put it lightly, I felt like I was punched in the stomach. This was determined on previous testing my doctor had done so when she heard about the possibility of an IUD she knew it wouldn't be an effective route for me. 

I have since then regrouped, gained some perspective on what this means and I've prayed. A lot. This doesn't mean I 100% can't carry a child. This doesn't mean I'm infertile. This is simply something I've learned about my body and it's something I'll continue to pray about until Andrew and I feel it's the right time to expand. Because of this realization, I plan to still have my appointment on Thursday the 4th and I plan to talk options of contraception with my doctor. I plan to get educated about this bump in the road and I plan to put all my faith in God and in grace as we embark on a few more years a family of three. I am confident this is all apart of God's plan and I can say I have much less worry than I did first finding this out. That's not to say I'm still concerned and thinking the worst, but we will take one day at a time and we will embrace everything we're dealt with.

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