As we talk about our new home and decide what we're going to do decor wise and with design features in structural, big items I have myself wondering why in the world am I so set on the fact I need a perfectly manicured kitchen? I mean yes, a woman and her kitchen is a love language in itself and I've always been excited about having one to share memories of baking in with my kids but now that it comes down to designing it, I'm so frustrated I feel I can only have a stark white area with marble counter tops and the best subway tile or herringbone back splash.

I wasn't able to sleep last night so I was up praying about our home journey and where we are now from when we started the process of looking in January. It was just laid on my heart so heavy that I desire all these costly materialistic items because I subject myself to this blog world. All I see are the amazing, beautiful and airy kitchens where cost doesn't matter. I don't get that. We are smart about our money in every aspect and if we can suffice and create the same memories with a formica counter top versus quartz or granite, why the hell not go with something that's more cost effective? 

Of course I desire to have a lovely home but I want people to feel welcomed and comfortable when they walk in, where they feel like family and can simply kick back and relax. I don't want something that's too pretty to touch or where people are afraid to get it dirty. Nothing against those who have those bright, beautiful kitchens, but I've come to the realization I can't maintain that while staying sane. I'm coming to grips with a dark cabinet, durable counter tops and a space mapped out perfectly for Sunday brunch.

I'm excited by the prospect of reworking the mentality I had beginning this process and thinking practically for our lifestyle. It's a challenge I'm willing to take on and I can't wait to see the final outcome in a home that's perfect for us.