AUBREY KINCH

 Jesus SPENT IT ALL on us. What have you done to show your gratitude and love for our Savior?

I leave Sunday for High School Summer Camp.

[insert happy dance!!]

But seriously, I could NOT be more excited about this adventure the Lord placed on my path.

I've been told by a few co-workers at the church that I seem like someone who can get along and influence the youth age group in a positive way and that it's something I seem to excel at.

That makes my heart so full.

Since starting with the youth in February, my life has more sense of purpose. I feel accomplished and gratified knowing I'm making a difference-- it may be a small difference-- but a difference in these students lives.

It's taken time to adjust to learning how things work.

I won't lie, after week 2 I left crying and was so emotional saying I can't just dive in and be their friend! I'm shy and possess an introverted personality. How could I let these kids break my shell and bombard me with life and all the trials and triumphs that come along with it?

I fully intended to step down after 2 weeks of putting myself out there and encourage only my husband to continue with making this impact.

Here we are a few months later and tables have turned.

These kids light up my life. Their energy and heart for the Lord has increased mine and only made me want to grow closer to God to be an even brighter light shining in their lives.

As Summer Camp approaches, I find myself with the same jitters I did way back when I was the student about to take a week of my life and spend it growing my love of the Lord. I'm excited, nervous, anxious, hopeful, optimistic.

This week is something I believe my own Faith needs also. 

I have to admit, I'm sad to be leaving hubs behind. We haven't spent much time apart on vacations and that makes me nervous. I'm used to having him with me as my rock and this week it's me, by myself, solo. Yes, we're a phone call away but I pray I can adjust to being without him during this exciting time with the youth. And yes, I'm sappy and it's mushy shenanigans but Andrew has been there holding my hand while developing relationships with the students and leaders here at Joy; naturally it's a change that's leading me into the unknown and who wouldn't be a little sketchy about that?

As this weekend draws nearer I pray daily that the Lord will guide me this week with these students. Help me develop deeper, meaningful relationships and give me strength to open up to them. They deserve that much and it's only going to help me as an individual-- help me to become a stronger, more independent woman of Christ.

You loved me, nurtured me and held my hand from day one. 

You taught me what it means to have a fun, "let's not do anything" day and taught me how to process moments that last a lifetime. You were my first love and best friend; a man I grew attached to with every occasion and memory in life. You walked along side me encouraging me, supporting me, loving me and cheering me on. You taught me what it means to accept someone. You taught me about attitude, hustle and initiative. You taught me character and integrity mold a classy individual. You taught me when playing T-Ball it's okay to draw smiley faces in the dirt-- cause ultimately, it would light your face up with a smile. You taught me the power of prayer and the power of our Lord. You taught me a Saturday morning bike ride makes the weekend that much sweeter. You taught me late night ice cream runs are without a doubt, the highlight of your week. You taught me the large "X" from the slip-n-slide in the summer is inevitable so embrace those water days. You taught me late night swims are always refreshing. You taught me a hot summer's night couldn't be any sweeter than spending it watching baseball and eating sunflower seeds. You taught me you can never take a Home Depot trip without getting a hot dog. And you taught me it's not safe to chase your car down the street when you've kissed me goodbye before work without waking me-- it's dangerous and will break your heart over and over knowing you're leaving your little girl.

But mostly, you taught me what it means to love unconditionally. Thank you. So unconditionally, thank you.

All my love, forever & ever,

Sweetpea

Dear Elle,

I met you when you were so young. Two months old and mama didn't want to go back to work. She worried, shed tears and yearned to be with you those first few months but you and I, yeah, we had something special.

Holding your chubby little body so close to mine has always been a favorite from day one. The way your right arm had to always wrap around my back when I cradled you, how your cheek had to be perfectly positioned on my tummy to snuggle in just right, how your left hand had to feel the touch of mine warming yours, all before you closed those little eyes and dozed into a peaceful sleep. You sometimes didn't feel like your swing and that was okay, more time for snuggles; one day you would be too old for them and I dreaded the day you fought touch. You even burrowed down in my legs a few times, in a tight ball, snoozing while I read with you on the couch. Man, those were the early days. I began craving those moments soon after as you grew.

You grew into an infant then, no longer a fragile newborn. You started to explore with tummy time and love, love, loved your piano. I could place that guy in front of you for hours and you'd go to town writing me songs that went straight to my heart. You ate, drooled, burped and spit up. Played, slept, pooped and ate some more. Again, the days I soon missed.

You began to recognize me as part of your life. I'd arrive at work to a smiley baby-- all smiles you were. Those sweet chubby cheeks and adorable faces would get me through the obnoxious drive to you. I can't forget the day you found your toes; it was as if all things were right in your small, small world. Those eye would light up just seeing those toes hanging over your head. You'd sit giggling in your bouncer chair sucking on your feet, sliding down and eventually out of your chair-- where I'd come to the rescue, scoop you up and make all things right in that world again.

Soon your growing flashed so quickly, too quickly before my eyes. No longer an infant but a baby and soon a toddler. I about fainted when your first steps were taken. The week of your 1ST birthday and I was a tearful, joyful, hot mess that day! Video upon video of those chubby feet flopping along the floor. Guiding your way into rebellion and exploring. Oh, the trials were about to come all right.

And come they did. They all seemed to be trampled on when I heard that first "Auby" from your mouth, was given your first kiss without asking, when you ran to me for comfort in times of distress or confusion. I knew I was doing something right. But mostly, that first "I love you." Yep, nothing mattered you did to upset me, because that beautiful satisfaction of hearing those words washed all doubts in my mind away.

Elle, you drove me bananas some days and grew my heart so full others. You taught me what it means to love another. To love so unconditionally through right and wrong. Through trials, triumphs, thick and thin. So often I'd stop and ponder how you've molded me into the ideal wife. You taught me what I means to forgive, to stop and enjoy the small all around us, to breath a little deeper on a crisp winter's morning, to always hug it out, that a kiss makes everything better and to laugh. Laugh. How simple. You showed me, sweet girl. I've learned pajama days are necessary and sitting by the fire place with loads of pillows, blankets, a good book and each other is sweet bliss. Shining brighter all my days forward are the butterflies in early spring, the chirp of a small bird resting on the fence, the sound of morning dew under my feet, the inevitable sense of becoming refreshed after an early morning jog and happily these things will bring me back to you.

It pains me not being able to explain to you why I have to leave but maybe it's better that way, sweet pea. If you could understand I'd explain how deep in my heart your roots have grown, how your touch and small kisses makes my heart so full, how your early morning reception to my arrival melts away any distractions and how blessed I have been to call you my Elle Belle. I never want to leave you feeling abandoned or sad, lost or confused or aimlessly wandering around the house calling "AUBY". I pray you to go forward knowing I've left a small footprint on your heart in your long, long life ahead of you. I pray for your happiness. I pray you can still enjoy the smalls things when you're 13 and learning about boys. I pray you find the early years of your life with me as a symbol of your childhood you'll cherish forever.

I love you, my sweet girl.

Thank you for changing my heart, changing my life and blessing me with the ability to focus on truly, the small things.

All my love, forever & always,

Auby